Took it Offline (Letter #9)

Shalom Josh,

There is an internet prospective woman now, who I am talking with. Catch this- by phone. We have moved beyond the computer. A big step in the relationship, if I may say so myself. I have heard her voice. Look at the profile and listen to her voice and it feels like I am in a relationship with a one-dimensional figure. Does that sound scary? To me, it is the beginning phases of modern day courtship. 

I am not that privy to proper courting, but you would be proud of me. I have even played hard to get. I let my phone ring, and I didn't answer it.

Big plus- She has tried comedy & she might be able to be a character in a show I am producing. That means that there is a point to the date. I do not meet up with women anymore, with the goal of a relationship. A job opportunity is more likely to happen. I like to know that something positive might transpire. 

This is all if the date happens. She blew off the date for this week. I don't think she likes how my voice sounds with my profile. Maybe I need a deeper phone voice. Most women have not been a fan of my third grade sounding American male voice.

She did say she can't go out this week, which makes me feel free & lonely at the same time. If you can't go out, why are we talking? That is like ordering a falafel and not being hungry. Then asking the guy to hold the falafel for a week. I am never not hungry. Talking on the phone won't lead to a fun night. 

Is that a wrong outlook, that I am expressing? Should I just be satisfied with the phone call and play it smooth? Take it slow? Wait till she can pencil me in, in October? Wait till she breaks up with the other guys she is talking with on the phone? Get used to not answering my phone until she calls the third time, to keep the relationship fresh for the first time we meet?

I know she is cheating on me. I am sure she has phone conversations with other people.

Now that I think about it, this phone talking thing does not get me all happy. 'Ahhhh, how nice? She is thinking about me while she is out with her better plans.' That doesn't make me feel good. Even so, I am very excited about taking our relationship to the next level. At least it is off the internet. Who knows? We might even be texting soon.

What is the next step in this courtship? Is it leaving messages? I don't know if I am ready for that. I am very confused. And I am very scared of pushing her into texting too soon. I am really bad at romantic texting. I have to focus on my strengths, keeping quiet and letting her talk on the phone. I just want to be able to answer her phone call without it being a sign of dependency. 

I have been there before and that woman broke up with me because, as she said, 'You were too needy. When I called you, you answered the phone. I need a man who will not be there for me.'

Boker Or