Leave The Questions Open-Ended (Letter #7)

Sholm Josh,

Got it- OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS.  

Leave the questions open ended & you can have multiple-date days- not that dating countless women at once or going on more than one date with any lady is suggestible. It is taking a chance. But if you live in Vegas and play the odds- it works- just hedge your women a bit. 

We know that my biggest problem is remembering stuff about these people I am dating. They think it is because I don't care. That is not fare to say. I do care. But it is hard to remember the details when I have to go out with another woman that I also care about, in a few hours.

Here is the idea:

Leave the questions open and they can't figure out that you don't know. Example- 'What's your name?' Great question- very open- she can answer with anything she wants & it shows your interest. It also can lead to conversation. Just don't use the word 'again'- not a good way to end the question. I have done that before, and she got mad. The key is to leave it vague. Don't give it away that you forgot her name in the middle of the date, unless you preface the question with, 'I am an idiot.' This is why you never use the word 'again;' it shows you forgot.

Open-ended questions are better than running. I have tried that before as well, but that girl told everybody I ran away. I find this whole talking about me thing to be rude. it is Lashon Hara (talking bad about other people), and that is forbidden. It is not like I am shallow, and it is not like she was going to offer to flip the bill. If I would have asked 'How are you going to pay for dinner?' it would have been a whole different story. It would have showed I cared.

I still don't understand why I am considered rude if I don't end up paying for her. I am not a male-chauvinist, and I feel that it is important for women to express their equality and pay for the men. And then to not be called chivalrous, because the girl couldn't open up her own door, and I had to take off. I am sorry, but I do not have all the time in the world. I think we have to redefine chivalry, and what really is considered noble. I allowed her to express herself as a female. 

If I would have left it open-ended, it would have been smooth. Instead of taking off, I could have asked, 'How are you going to find your way home?' Then I wouldn't have looked like this uncaring single loser, and she would have told the matchmaker that I am somebody who cares.

I am thinking now, my brother...Hobbies. That is a good conversation starter. Great topic.

You just can't let them know you forgot their hobbies- that shows that you didn't prep for the date by looking at their profile.

Anything that is a heading on an internet profile is a topic. One word questions is perfect: 'Hobbies?'- one right there, 'Looking for'- two words- but still works- they can fill in the 'What are you' part, 'Body-type?'- with a hyphen it is one word. The idea is that the less I say, the less chance I have of looking like an idiot. And the one word thing makes it even more open-ended. 

Should I add the word 'favorite'? They do like talking about that on the internet.

What you think about it? If I leave the questions open-ended, with an open-beginning as well, I won't be saying anything and I can just stare at her- waiting for an answer. I can come out looking decent. And then I can go on a second date and ask her what she wants in a relationship. They ask that on the internet profile as well. That would be my second date question. 

Shavua Tov,
David