Shalom Josh,
Buddy
The new 35 year old just got called off- which means I get to spend tonight by myself. Sweet. Get to watch some movies.
I just learned how to use the free movie sites. Now I can afford to watch videos. It is like more focused TV, with no commercials, and I don't even have to pay for it.
I saw a more recent picture of her on the internet and I know why she called it off. She did not want me thinking she was 45, because she was 45.
That is a tough life to live, having to lie about your age. Telling people you are one age and having to convince them you are not another, cannot be easy. I went on a date with a 14 year old who needed a triple bi-pass, due to stress at work. That is child labor and that is wrong. Law firms should know better than hiring children that young. Giving them over time hours is abuse. I know because I dated her, and I am still questioning the matchmaker for putting me in that situation, where I had to date somebody who cannot even drink alcohol. I was amazed that the bar let her in, and even gave her as much wine as she wanted, even after checking her ID. And the service when they gave her a chocolate milk to chase it.
Then you have to continue the charade that you are not old as hell. Put up a high school picture on your profile. I have been on dates where the woman was offended that I did not recognize her coming into the cafe. She had changed a bit over the past 30 years.
You lie about your age, you deserve to get caught. If you are lying about your age, because you do not want a committed relationship, then OK. But I am going to figure it out at some point. If you are using a walker, all hunchbacked at 40 years old- with silvery white hair, I know you lied. Reaching menopause at 35, with wrinkles. I know.
Truth is, the lady might be 35 and I might be offensive. I have seen what plastic surgeons can do to people, and Joan Rivers looks older.
Her profile picture from her 6th birthday party was taken with a Polaroid instant folding camera, and uploaded, with the unique 1970's lack of decent flash, and extreme amounts of brown in the background. The fact that she used that as one of her profile pictures, and doesn't know how to upload a digital picture, is a giveaway.
Check it. I did go on a date the other night. Dates is what I do now. I am not looking for a relationship. I am just looking for dates. That is what makes me happy.
It was a legitimate date too. We went for coffee. I paid. Legit. We didn't talk and I paid. Legit Josh. That is the sign of a real date- spending money on somebody you don't like, who doesn't say thank you- after you pay for her meal and cab-ride home. She couldn't smile and I was on. She had this testing look, which made me feel like I was a 5th grader. A legit date. No smiles and very awkward conversation. By the end of the date the truth came out, I skipped class and she made me repeat my jokes to the whole restaurant.
Fact is, she was a teacher- a lawyer- a waitress I picked up on the internet. Truth is I don't remember. I've been going out and corresponding with so many girls- they don't have individual stories anymore- they just fall into categories: divorced, single, married, old, young, middle-aged, happy, mad, athletic, thin, heavy, mother loves you, religious, all kinds of religious, in a relationship, bi.
'Divorced? kid? Great! Lets start the date before you get that fake phone call that your kid is not feeling well.' 'Under 30 years old. You still have hope to meet the guy of your dreams. Lets end it right now. I don't have to hear about that guy who broke your heart, who you still love, because he is the greatest guy and married, because all of the good guys are taken and I suck.' 'Older than me. Why am I still paying for this date? My mom pays when we go out.'
And yes, I call it corresponding. It is a correspondence. That is what you call it when the main part of your dating life is happening on the internet.
I think I should go for it. I like this new 35 45 year old, who is still in love with another guy, who might be up for a bi-racial date. Should I go for it Josh? It could lead to a good date with one of her friends.
Later Achi
